A Collection of Thoughts

December Daily 16th - 25th

Continuing on with my December Daily documenting :)

December 16th

The next few days were punctuated with waiting waiting - This was a sunday and I tried hard to imagine I was at church and then off with the family for breakfast but that needed more imagination than I could conjure up.

 December 17th

I was so hopeful that I would get a reprieve today but no such luck. My surgeon came early with the news and it almost broke me. I so had my heart set on going. I moped for some time before giving in to it and started googling for a new simple crochet project. a few phone calls - some you tube watching and I had a plan. Friends arrived later that evening with new colours of wool for me to play with. It kept me clicking well into the night.

December 18th

Finally - sweet escape - not before I managed to get my project finished. I had to leave still with drains and the promise that they could come out in two days time. I took that concession and ran. Straight to coffee and late night shopping - finally it felt like Christmas.

 Just because

My beautiful ornaments I received in a swap :)

December 19th

We managed at the last moment to book tickets to White Christmas at Movie World. I had been back to the doctors that afternoon to have my drains removed but no luck I had to keep them one more night. It didn’t stop us having fun. The parade was an amazing extravaganaza with over 1 million lights. We loved the two hours of fun.

 December 20th

An ordinary home day - with last minute preparation beginning to happen.

 

 December 21st

I was so thrilled we still managed to fit a trup into Brisbane to see the myer windws and pantomine - it was really well done - all free :) We will definately go again next year. It was a bonus that the city shops were open to midnight! I had two very tired girls on our trip home.

December 22nd

Every year I swear I am going to skip the lines and do Santa photos early. I only wised up to one part of that this year - I sent Richard to join the queue while I went to have my nails painted sparkly. The girls tried to talk me into having them done down at Pac Fair or Robina which had some amazing Santa set ups but I stuck with tradition and we went to Helensvale for the 5th year in a row. Richard snapped these while they were getting set up.

 

 December 23rd

I had been quite happy meandering along thinking I had everything sorted when BAM things got crazy busy!

December 24th

 Our Christmas Eve ran true to tradition - Grocery shopping - crazy crowds, baking, gifts for the neighbours, the arrival of Santa's Email, ( Daddy is still on the naughty list), last minute tidy up and organise the table settings for christmas day, evening mass, reindeer food and feeding, DVDs for the girls, drinks at friends and gift swapping for us, in bed by midnight ready for Santa.

 Christmas Day - December 25th

 

 There you have it one completed December Daily :)

Im thrilled with the result because quite honestlyI have given this a go for many years and failed dismally. One of the things that I have found that made this process so much easier was that I just used my iphone.  The photos went to my icloud so there was no mucking around transferring etc. Half the time they had already been edited because I had shared thme on facebook or on instagram too so much of the work was done for me. Using a template album made it simple too and having a plan - knowing that I wanted to print it into a mini album gave me a goal. I have loaded it all to snapfish and i love the look - just waiting for payday to send it to print :-).

I stopped at Dec 25th - I know lots of peole go right through to the end of the year but for me December documenting is really about the Christmas celebrating that we do more so than anything else.

So tell me how did you go did you get all done - is yours online somewhere I can see? Do link me up!

December 9th - 15th

Well that was a little longer enforced rest than I had hoped for . All good back in the swing again albeit a little quieter than I would like. Nana naps and plenty of pacing myself so I can do the things I really want to. I still have a drain in and am fighting some pain but the girls went to their great grandmas today for craft and cooking - God Bless her! I had friends take me down to the shop later to get some things done without children ;) I'm also working on catching up my december daily. It was easy enough to keep the photos happening with my phone.

December 9th

 

An early christmas lunch with our good friends who have jetsetted to Japan for Christmas. So jealous. Ryan made this fabulous meringue tower which took pride of place on the table. It was using a kit from coles  and we have already popped one in our cupboard the girls are very keen to make it too.

 December 10th

A typical Monday of work, training meals, housework. The girls love this time though as they are already on holidays and we are relaxed about their bedtime and activities. Tonight they watched Legally Blonde for the millionth time and made these cute door hangers from Big W.

December 11th

 

The last day of term for me - which was quite a milestone. I made the difficult decision to push my return to work early. Fortunately work was more than accommodating and I managed to do two days for a whole term ( a bit more if truth be told ) completing the VET reviews and audits and I was roped into a few other projects along the way.

December 12th

Surgery for the insertion of my right expander had been planned for this date for sometime. However running true to form things didnt go as smoothly as I had hoped and chest pains after I woke from anaesthetic had everyone running. A quick ECG revealed anomalies with my heart. Not good. I have never googled heart stuff just cancer I had no clue what was happening. It's always going to end in tears when you have to text your hubby - moving to ICU try not to worry - don't tell the girls.

December 13th

I needed an angiogram to see what was happening but because i had just had surgery I couldn't have the required blood thinners. So we just had to wait and monitor. I stayed hooked to machines with regular ecgs each one bringing back the same result that there was somethign blipping in my heart.   The girls have spent far too much time visiting in hopsitals and seen too much already I had no intention of having them visit me in ICU. So Richard kept things at home as normal as he could with the news that I wasn't allowed visitors which didn't go down too well.

 December 14th

Richard and the girls spent the day at Movieworld while I underwent my angiogram. All was clear and I could finally begin to relax. Another night in ICU.

December 15th

 

Those smiling faces say it all really - I was moved to the wards and the girls were able to visit. Happy Days ;)

 

December 8th

Today happily was filled with a whole slew of awesome.

We started the day with our park run and I was thrilled to finally break a new record. 34.12 according to Richards watch for 5km. Look out 30 minutes here I come.

The girls wrote their Santa letters and sealed them before I could peek - and apparently it's stuff they know I won't get them so they have had to ask Santa especially for it - sigh...

My Dr completed my next round of GRW papers- 4 days a week with some clear terms about not getting fatigued. Yay it will make negotiating my work load a little easier.

We finished the day at the Mayors Christmas Carols at the Broadwater. AMAZING. Beautiful night - great entertainment. We heard Jessica Mauboy sing - and she even performed some of my favourites from The Sapphires.  Loved every second. Next year we will arrive a little earlier so we can be closer to the front. The concert finished with Santa and fireworks :)

Happy Days and over 1/4 of the way through making my little December daily book. How are your albums coming along ???

 

 

December 7th

December the 7th was marked by the celebration of a beautiful woman's life. Her family and friends gathered and held the love they had for her like a candle. It was almost too much to witness. I couldn't find any words. I nearly didn't go. But I have good friends and was carried to where I had to be.

Cancer steals so much. It's not only the lives it's the time and the innocence. I kept my friends passing from the girls as best as I could. But when I pulled out my black dress and tried to casually change our plans for the day they knew something was wrong.

Tell me the right words to use when your ten year old asks-  Who will help us when we have to do your funeral Mummy? You aren't going to die yet are you Mummy ? The doctor is right isn't he Mummy ? Everything is okay isn't it ?

It breaks me that they even have the questions.

Eight weeks ago my friend's answers to her daughter about making it through to her wedding in April would undoubtedly be as mine were to my girls questions today. Warm, loving, affirmative.

But suddenly it all changes and the hopes you cling to are taken away with no warning.

Echoing through my head all this week have been the words Her story is not your story - Her story is not your story - Her story is not your story  - said to me by a lovely colleague over and over,  who offered me counselling at work when it all got too hard. My head knows it. My hearts wants to know it. I don't know how to get the two to meet.

It's not for me to question - it is what it has to be.  Some days I don't like it. I'm so blessed to have had this amazing support team who keep me moving forward when I falter. Today I said goodbye to one of them. I can't bring myself to delete her text messages yet or to take her name from my phone.

She used to always say to me "Everyday above grass is a good day"

This passage used as part of the service today was perfectly fitting.

She is a valiant woman: her roots are firmly planted. The kingdom is within; her heart, treasure-filled.

She is a joyful woman for whom laughter is not stranger; a song to sing, a smile to give, a hand clasp or embrace.

She is a strong woman whose heart and arms withstand the pressures and the worries that each day unfolds.

She is a patient woman waiting through storm and night for new life, new growth, rich harvest.

She is a loving woman ever giving and forgiving, ever caring and concerned.

She is a sharing woman who with arms outstretched gives her gifts and treasures to those both near and far.

Proverbs 31

Her passing leaves an emptiness.

Tonight I gathered my little family and we headed out for coffee and chocolate and gave thanks for "another day above grass"

 

December 6th

 I have spared no expense with the photos today :) 9 to share!

 

A few hours in at work this morning and then a lovely afternoon of socialising finishing with coffee and some wandering the shops on the look out for the last few christmas gifts with my girls.

Hope your day was just as lovely

 

December 4th and 5th

Thank you for all the lovely well wishes for my results. They were far better than I had hoped for with word being that he doesn't want to see me for 6 months. The last few weeks have been hectic to say the least and in particular the last couple of days. My work schedule is relentless as it takes me so much longer to do things these days. I am on a strict training and diet schedule imposed by my surgeon in the lead up to surgery next week.

 It's all taking its toll at the moment.

 Still, I have only three working days left this year and I will have managed to do what I set out to. Tomorrow I have some nice things planned for the afternoon and I'm very much looking forward to the weekend. I am so grateful for all that I have and the people who carry me day after day. God is indeed good.

5 Days of December daily documented and ready to add to my photo book. YAY

 

 

 

December 3rd

Not all days are filled with sparkly christmas love. Be nice if they were.

Today was marred by the passing of a dear friend. Someone I had worked with for 18 years. She was one of my staunchest supporters in my darkest times. She always told me that she and I would make it because only the good die young and neither her nor I were good. She was wrong because today she left me to fight alone. We shared oncologists and I had to visit with him today too. A mix up with the lab meant that he wasn't able to give me any results and I had to go take further bloods. I'll know how I am travelling in the next few days.

Definitely not sparkly. I took plenty of time out for reflection and reality.

 

December 2nd

I promise not to share a page a day -  just when I get organised enough to make them.

A few days ago we had some long chats in our family about finding a new routine. While without doubt it has a been a blessing the last two years that Richard's work allows him to work from home it not without it's challenges. Being the homebody and people lover that he is he has always wanted to be based in the family room amongst all the action. This is fine through the term but in the holidays it's fairly challenging to keep the girls entertained and quiet while he goes about his day of work - of which 70% is spent on the phone!  If I say shh  Daddy is working once I say it a thousand times. We tend to go out for day trips and off on adventures but I'm not as energetic as I used to be and honestly the thought of doing that for the next 8 weeks just exhausts me.

So today I converted half my craftroom into a space for Richard to work. It's quite bare at the moment and he is yet to move his equipment in while we wait for the electrician to come on Tuesday. He will then swap the phone lines and provide the work cabling that he needs. This way we can close the door and the girls and I can craft away outside with our music going and he will be none the wiser. If he's very lucky we may even make him nice treats and bring them in to him for morning tea :)

 Here's to new spaces and new beginnings.