I have a new bag packed - I finally decided after all these trips into hospital it was time for an overnightish size bag. It's pretty cute - silver and the girls found a funky silver glitter tag for my name to go in so it doesn't get lost in the shuffle.
This is surgery number four and if everything goes to my surgeon's plan then I really will only have one more in about 4 months time and I will be done. To date nothing has gone to plan so I'm figuring it is about time that something does.
I started yesterday with a long to do list.
Beginning at gym (last one for a while - sob) and then meeting a friend for coffee.
I had allowed an hour and half for our catch up. Somehow I got stuck there though and we sat for nearly three hours on one cup of coffee and shared a million things. She too is fighting her own cancer battle. It was very therapeutic and I feel much calmer heading into surgery today than I would have if I hadn't have met with her.
We talked for some time about faith and whether mine has ever waivered. It was good for me to reflect on my answer to her and I am so glad she asked me.
It hasn't. It doesn't. I have a sense of peace that I think would be harder to find without a faith in God.That's not to say I don't get cross or tired or frustrated or questioning or a million otehr things. Of course I do. Honestly I'm not happy about the journey he's placed me and my family on ( who would be ? ) but I trust in it. He hasn't led me astray in all these years so I have no doubt he won't now.
Right now I am at a turning point in my treatment plan. This is our last big effort and it's scary. There have been more changes since my last scan and I'll know some more before I go under. I am trying not to think too hard.
So today I head in at 8.00am and sit in a variety of waiting rooms until 3.30pm.(agggghhh) Nil by mouth from 9.30am - that's my least favourite part. I may see some of you on instagram or twitter over the next few hours :) My kindle is loaded and my ipad is set with movies. I have a pretty puzzle book to take with me (thank you Tammy)
I am ready.
See you on the other side.
And the rest of the to do list ? Never got done. LOL never mind. I'll save it for another day.