Yesterday was a tough day with Drs appointments - while there were no surprises it was still not what I wanted to hear. It's the sitting waiting and the continual realisation that life as you once knew it is still on hold. Here is my Thursday WITL project.
Just a little note on Thursday's pictures. When I went to pull this together I realised I only had 6 pictures- the 6 that I have here. I thought oh no that hardly tells what the day was about especially when you look at Ali's blog with her many many beautiful images that she has to choose from. Then I thought oh well I will just write a bit more - but I didn't need to I had the perfect number of pictures and it all came together easily.
Pictures that I should have taken
- We had meatballs for dinner
- Talia dropped a plate and it shattered
- Richard had meetings all day
- I missed lunch while I was waiting at the Drs
- I went to gym and chatted with a lovely new friend
- I wrote some blog entries
- I designed yesterday's Day in the Life pages
- I researched E readers
- There was no need for grocery shopping Richard pulled dinner just from the pantry and fridge
- I finally watched the first part of Titanic
- Sofia started work on her assignment- I have to get her some cardboard
- Tals lost her first soccer game
- Sof lost her first newcomb ball game
But I didn't. So I have gone with the pictures that I do have and written the story that they tell. Its oen of the things that I love about this project each year - It encourages you to grab some shots and tell some stories that you may not normally. Its not about documenting every minute.
I have spent far too many hours staring out
of these windows waiting for doctors appointments.
Today was no different.
I am in time loop waiting....
View From Hoca, Gold Coast
It would be so easy to get lost in my own story this week but running alongside are these two little girls who keep me grounded. They came barreling in after school happy because they were done with homework thanks to the public holiday yesterday and the fact they had worked on it on the bus. They were quick to tell me they had heaps of time to play on the trampoline. Later that evening Sofia was in tears for the umpteenth time this week. It is hard to work out what is going on with her right now. So I asked her to come talk to me and share what the problem was. She didn’t want to. I left her to herself. It was not too long before this note was pushed into my hand as I sat talking to my sister on the phone. I love that she wrote it as an invitation. A long chat revealed there is nothing too deep about the tears - a lost game for interschool sport, a harsh word from her sister, some friends choosing to play with someone other than her today had left her with a general “feeling of sad”. (her words) I shared with her that I have “feeling of sad” days too even when I know I have lots of happy happening. She wasn’t all smiles but there were no more tears at least. I worry about how they are both affected by everything that is going on. We try to keep things moving along as they would if I wasn’t sick but I guess it is not always going to work.
and the rest
Too much of my day was lost in finalising the details for surgery on Monday. I thought that I had seen the end of those circles on the carpet but unfortunately not. My appointment with the surgeon was routine and fast but he sent me back to my hematologist. My frustration grew with every single minute that passed as I sat waiting. My feeling was irrational as I was so lucky they had fitted me in. I didn’t have an appointment. I was ( still am ) struggling with the idea of going back to those twice daily injections of clexanne. As I sat for an hour waiting to be told what I didn’t want to hear, instead of having a coffee which is what I planned, I silently fumed. His receptionist finally had mercy on me and sent me away with the promise of phoning through the details. Somehow I need to learn to focus on the good and be grateful for the skill and compassion of my medical team. They are really wonderful. My issue is with needing them at all. A bit like Sofia really, today I had a “feeling of sad” too for no real reason. I need to take my own advice and focus on the happy I have happening.